


Hosting Hogwarts

by otaku579



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Harry and Draco are clueless to everyone else's problems, Haruhi and Hermione become really good friends, Haruhi is mad because she is missing her exams, Haruhi just wants to study, Hikaru needs to realize his feelings, Hitachiincest, Honey eats all the cake, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, James and Lily are really chill parents, Kyoya is a hopeless fangirl, Kyoya manages to keep tabs on everyone, Kyoya ships everyone, London, M/M, Muggle Life, Ouran Host Club goes to London, Percy has hamsters, Ranka goes crazy because Haruhi is on the other side of the world, Ranka takes Sirius shopping for no apparent reason, Remus helps Haruhi and Hermione study, Requited Unrequited Love, Ron is just generally as stupid as Tamaki, Secret Relationship(s), Sirius is a jealous boyfriend, Tamaki is a drama queen, Tamaki is an idiot, Tamaki tries to have Antoinette brought over to London, Twincest, all four twins play pranks on everyone, everyone is just so pure and adorable, everyone ships the twins, honey and mori are really cute, random holiday, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otaku579/pseuds/otaku579
Summary: Tamaki takes the host club to London where they join Hogwarts Academy while staying with the Potters, who are living in an ex-hotel with all their friends.Haruhi and Hermione immediately become friends, and pretty much everyone is shipped with someone (by Kyoya)





	1. London Fun-don

Haruhi opened the doors to music room 3 to see Tamaki sat on a suitcase shrouded by darkness. She switched on the light.

 

“HARUHI!!!”  
“Tamaki-senpai, what are you doing?”  
“Turn the light back off. It’s called ‘setting a scene’. I heard something about it last night.” Haruhi turned the lights off again, mumbling something about how he was always making a scene, and was very good at it too. It just happened at the worst possible moments.

 

“Now, Haruhi, come here.”  
“Tamaki-senpai, if you try anything weird, I will leave.”  
“Haruhi! Let daddy talk to you about his newest brilliant idea!”  
“How many times do I need to tell you; I already have a dad, I don’t need another one.” At this, Tamaki pouted.  
“Mama! Haruhi won’t accept me as her daddy!” Kyoya turned on the lights, and Tamaki abandoned the suitcase in the middle of the room for the safety of his emo corner.  
“We need to wait for the twins to arrive, when Tamaki will make his announcement.” Kyoya stated simply. “The reason they are late is that they are right now at your house packing you your clothes.” Haruhi blanched.  
“They’re at my house?”  
“Yes,” answered Kyoya simply once again. “They are on a tight schedule, however, and will be here soon so they will not have time to go through personal belongings.” The shadow king sounded bored.

 

|Meanwhile|

 

“Hikaru, why couldn’t we take the limo? It’s not like the commoners that live with Haruhi haven’t seen our limos before when we all came to her place that day.”  
“Kaoru, we don’t need to bring unnecessary attention upon ourselves going into a commoner neighbourhood. We aren’t Tamaki, we don’t need constant attention.” Kaoru smiled, nodding and looked over to where a construction site were building a commoner supermarket.

 

“KAORU! ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?!” asked Hikaru in a very loud voice. His brother smiled at him.  
“So much for not needing constant attention, Hikaru. And I was only seeing the site for the new commoner supermarket.” The more immature twin stuck out his tongue at his younger brother, and ran a little further ahead, pretending to ignore his twin. Kaoru smiled a little at this, and went to catch up with him to link their arms, but Hikaru kept pulling away in a huff. Kaoru rolled his eyes; his brother was always so stubborn!

 

“I guess I’ll go to school and let you go and pack Haruhi’s things then, Hikaru.” He began to walk away and found a hand on his arm, pulling him the other way. Kaoru smiled; it was so easy to get Hikaru to do things his way, and his brother could never hold a grudge against him. Anyone else, look out, but for Kaoru, no.

 

They at last arrived at Haruhi’s house. Hikaru automatically began to plan aloud how he was going to get into the house without anyone noticing.  
“We could get a really strong stick, and break the hinges!”  
“Hikaru!”  
“No, we could get a spoon and open the door like a crowbar!”  
“Hikaru!”  
“What?!”  
“Or we could just walk in; you can see the door’s open slightly.”  
“For an honour student, Haruhi’s pretty stupid. Anyone could just walk right in, she’s not as smart as she wants us to think.”

 

They went in, and looked round the front room.  
“I don’t get it; where’s her bed? Her clothes?”  
“She has more than one room, Hikaru. We have been here before, remember?”  
“Oh yeah.” They found a door and went through it.  
“I’ll look over here, you look over there.”  
“Surely we need to find her suitcase before we get her clothes out?”  
“Kaoru do you really not remember why I have these carrier bags? Tono said he had a suitcase she can use, remember?”  
“Okay…” we took a few minutes in silence looking through for clothes that seemed warm but would work as holiday clothes. It was then that I heard a smash.  
“Hikaru!”  
“It’s okay, it was only this old picture frame.”  
“Hikaru that’s a picture of Haruhi’s mother!”  
“Oh…” he deadpanned. “Should we pack it?” Kaoru face-palmed.  
“We need to fix this, Haruhi’s going to kill us if the picture of her mother is broken. She’s a commoner, she probably won’t have any others because they’re expensive.”

 

One confused Hikaru, heavily laden with bags and Kaoru on his shoulders also carrying bags, two bored chauffeurs and several flights of stairs later, the twins made it to music room 3.  
“Why is it so dark in here?!” Asked Hikaru, about to turn on a light.  
“DON’T turn on the LIGHTS!” screeched Tamaki.  
“Why?” asked Kaoru, confused.  
“Tamaki-senpai wants to make a scene.”  
“He does that anyway,” retorted Hikaru. Tamaki ignored him.  
“Mori-senpai! Man the spotlight,” Tamaki demanded. The tall boy did as he was instructed, surrounding Tamaki with a pale yellow light.

 

“Late last night, I was walking in the grounds with my gorgeous golden, Antoinette.” He paused for effect for apparently too long.

  
“Takashi, I’m scared!” came Honey-senpai’s voice. The oldest in the host club climbed up his cousin to perch on his shoulders. Tamaki continued.  
“It was then that the thought struck me. We need a break! We work so hard as hosts, we deserve some time off, so we can go and visit France, the very place where Antoinette’s breed, the golden retriever, originated from!”  
“Tamaki, the golden retriever originated in Scotland, not France.” The twins began to laugh.  
“It—it did?” By now, Hikaru and Kaoru were laughing so hard they had tears threatening to spill over their cheeks.  
“Tama-Chan, Kyo-Chan, how about a compromise? We can go to England!”  
“Yeah,” added Mori.  
“Good job, Honey-senpai! We will go to London. There’s bound to be something we can do there.”  
“Hasn’t anyone remembered the exams we have in about a week?” Asked Haruhi, angry but careful.  
“These are only end of years, Haruhi, it doesn’t matter if we miss these,” replied Kyoya. “  
“Not for you, but it will affect my status as an honour student.” She answered simply.  
“Not coming on the trip will effect it more,” Tamaki deadpanned. “Remember, my father is the chairman of Ouran Academy,” he reminded her.  
“It’s not as though I could forget,” Haruhi muttered, bitterly.

 

For Haruhi, it all began to happen a little too quickly. One second, Hikaru and Kaoru were handing her carrier bags of her own clothes and Tamaki was giving her an enormous suitcase to put it all in to. She didn’t even need to pack it properly; it was so big the bags all fit with room to spare without even being crushed down to size.

 

Tamaki’s private jet arrived outside the window, and the host club were all in their seats, ready to go.


	2. Fear of Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hosts™ fly out to London  
> Sure :) Thank you and have a lovely day xx

“Haruhi, is this what it’s like on a commoner airplane?”  
“I told you already, Tamaki-senpai, I don’t know. I’ve never flown before and I don’t even have a passport. I don’t even know how you managed to get me onto this plane!”  
“People know not to fool around with the Ootoris, Haninozukas and Morinozukas,” Kyoya added, without looking up from his laptop.

The plane took off, both Tamaki and Haruhi were glued to the window as they watched Japan disappear from below them. Kyoya filmed them with a smirk. For an honour student, Haruhi could be very childish at times. Then there was Tamaki, who was always that way. Kyoya opened a new document on his laptop.

Haruhi is the kind of a girl who feels she should behave the way people expect an honour student to behave, but in reality is a lot more fun than people may think from originally meeting her. She needs the likes of Tamaki to open her up and make her act like the child she wants to be.

Thinking about it, Kyoya thought, not for the first time, how good a couple Tamaki and Haruhi would make. He smirked to himself watching the two of them trying to pry their hands off the windows. Had they really not seen the twins putting glue on them before the plane took off? The twins…now there was an interesting relationship. Yes…he thought carefully, relationship is accurate. He knew if he referred to their ‘brotherly bond’ as a relationship in front of them they would look at him as though he was suggesting there was a portal that would take them to the other side of the world. Actually, never mind. Hikaru would believe him. Kaoru…yes, Kaoru probably would as well. When he’s with Hikaru they seem to think along the same lines and question absolutely nothing.

He snapped out of his reverie to see Haruhi, miraculously now not stuck to the window, trying to help Tamaki unstick his fingers from the window. ‘Yes,’ thought Kyoya, ‘I can certainly get into shipping those two.’ He glanced over to the twins who had previously been laughing at the daft pair, but saw them to be deep in a conversation. Honey was taking a nap on Mori’s lap, the latter who was looking out of the window, seemingly oblivious to the goings on in the rest of the aircraft.

Now was a terrible time to discover he was terrified of flying. When they were kids, they’d both loved flying with their mother to fashion shows, but they hadn’t done this since they were about 7. At first, it had been funny, with a distraction, as Haruhi and Tamaki were literally glued to the window. But looking out of the window, Hikaru realized he wanted to get off the plane as soon as was physically possible. Or at least back on the ground. The plane itself was fine, it just so happened that it was abnormally high in the sky, which Hikaru was not used to, and so he wanted out. And fast. So it had become Kaoru’s job to keep him occupied until he was tired enough to go to sleep. Sadly for Hikaru, the younger twin had other ideas.  
“Read a book, Hikaru, I want to go to sleep.”  
“But Kaoru, I’m scared!”  
“You read manga all the time back home, why can’t you here?”  
“They’re all at home!”  
“Talk to Kyoya or something, stop bothering me when I need my sleep!”  
“He’s got that creepy look on his face again, I don’t even want to talk to him.”  
“Then help Tono with the window.”  
“There is no way I am going anywhere nearer to the windows of this than I absolutely have to.” Kaoru didn’t answer him. The younger twin hoped that if he pretended to sleep, he could drown out Hikaru’s complaints and maybe convince his brother he was asleep. The older twin began to go through the screenshots on his phone.

“Hey, Kaoru, look! This one is about fear of flying!”  
“That’s great Hikaru, read it and leave me to sleep!” mumbled his brother.  
“No, Kaoru, read it with me!”  
“Hikaru…”  
“Please? You can read, like really good. I can’t read, you know that, Kaoru please?” Kaoru briefly scanned the screenshot and took Hikaru’s phone. Said twin punched the air triumphantly. Kaoru deleted the screenshot.  
“Will you let me sleep now?”  
“No.”  
“Why not? Hikaru, we were up until dawn playing that video game again and then we had to go to Haruhi’s and I am so tired. Try and sleep too maybe?”  
“But Kaoru, I can’t sleep. I’m too awake! Just read it to me, maybe it’ll be like a bedtime story.”  
“Hikaru, it will wake you up more, you’ll freak out and I know what you’re like. That’s why I deleted it,” the younger twin smiled ruefully.  
“You remember there is a thing called ‘recently deleted’, right?”  
“…Just go to sleep, Hikaru.”

Hikaru stuck his tongue out at his rather bored brother playfully. At least he was a bit distracted from the flying now. He recovered the screenshot.  
“I warned you, don’t…” the younger twin trailed off as sleep tried to overcome him once again. Hikaru began to read the picture.

 **Fear of Flying**  
My boyfriend: Don’t worry, flying is the safest form of travel.  
My brother: That’s what everyone says.  
Boyfriend: Be scared of cars, that’s how my uncle died.  
My bro: Oh I’m so sorry! Was it a bad accident?  
Boyfriend: Not really. A plane engine malfunctioned and it landed on the car, so I guess it was pretty bad, yeah.

“KAORU!”  
“I told you not to read it, Hikaru.”  
“What if this plane engine mal-funk-tion-d?”  
“It won’t, Hikaru.” Said twin grabbed his brother by the shoulders and stared into his face.  
“Promise?”  
“Eh?”  
“Promise me it won’t!” the older twin had tears streaming all down his cheeks.  
“Oh, Hikaru.” Kaoru hugged his brother.

Kyoya looked away from the twins. Okay so maybe he was starting to ship them too, just like how he was with Haruhi and Tamaki. Good thing he could use his book to record all these little ideas he had about them. Ways he could try and get them together. Why did all his friends seem to fit together so perfectly? It was a match made in heaven—or at least the host club. Which to him may as well be the next best thing; it still allowed him to keep tabs on everyone, which made him very happy.

Kyoya zoned back in to hear snores all around him. Looking at the clock, it had been hours, but hadn’t felt like long at all. He at last had a plan to get Hikaru and Kaoru together, but he would need Haruhi to help him, maybe Mori as well. The other two would blurt out the plan and probably only make matters worse. The plane swooped in to land, and everyone seemed to all wake up at once. Sadly for Kyoya, whose moment of glorious silence was now over.

Hikaru was the first to leave the plane, glad to be out of ‘that metal coffin’, the description of which gave Kaoru an insight into what his brother had been feeling before they had managed to get some sleep. He hoped his brother hadn’t found him too insensitive; he had just been really tired. He knew Hikaru had been too, he had only been trying to do what he thought was the best for his brother.


	3. An Ubernightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter they meet some of the harry potter characters. even though the Ouran students are from Japan, everyone speaks the same language because I am very unimaginative and can't think of any original way in which they could understand each other.

Tamaki was a dog with two tails leaving the airport.  
“Look, Haruhi, English commoners!”  
“Tamaki-senpai, there are normal people wherever you go.” ‘Damn all these rich jerks,’ she thought.  
“Where are we going, Tama-Chan?”  
“We should get a limo, I believe in this country people use something called ‘Uber’.” Kyoya informed him. Tamaki had a notebook of his own and was apparently taking notes.  
“…Uber…got it! Where do we find this Uber, Kyoya?”  
“I’m not quite sure…I think you call them and they come and pick you up, but I could be wrong…”  
“Got it.” Tamaki declared. He proceeded to cup his hands around his mouth and shout into the street. “UBER! WHERE ARE YOU? UBER?!”  
“UBER-CHAN!” Honey joined in.  
“Mitskuni, that’s not what he meant.” Mori chipped in, causing the short boy to stop. They were getting some peculiar looks. Kyoya was face palming by this point, while a pair of blokes in the street were laughing at Tamaki’s antics.

The slightly shorter one with wild black hair, wearing a white vest top with tattoos riddling his muscular arms had a lopsided grin that he flaunted walking over to the Ouran students.  
“You’re not from around here, are you?” He smirked at them.  
“No,” answered Kyoya, shortly.  
“We’re tourists from Japan.” Haruhi told him.  
“We come from the prestigious high school, Ouran Academy. We are the Ouran Host Club. At your service,” Tamaki flaunted, bowing.  
“What’s a ‘Host Club’?” Asked the other man, with shorter hair, which was the colour of sand. He had amber eyes, not dissimilar to the twins’. His face with riddled with scars, the same way the first man’s arms had tattoos. He had a few inches more than the first man, but seemed more timid than him.  
“Why I have the perfect response to this,” declared Tamaki. “Only those with excellent social standing and those who come from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time at the elite private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school’s handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy’s elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful.” Haruhi face-palmed throughout Tamaki’s entire speech.  
“Tamaki-senpai, they don’t care what you think of the host club, they just want to know what it is!” She turned to the men who were standing on the pavement, looking thoroughly confused. “The host club is basically where we have to flirt with a bunch of girls or each other in some cases which can be very awkward, but basically we try to make every girl happy. It’s probably worse for me, considering I am actually a girl, but they didn’t know that when I broke an expensive vase and was forced to join to pay back what is equivalent to £56,193.81 here in the UK.”  
“How did you break such an expensive vase?!” asked the taller one.  
“It was on display in the middle of the room. I only came in there to study. Anyway, this idiot decided it was time we went on a holiday, and now he’s trying to call ‘Uber’.”  
“I’m gonna tell ‘em,” said the shorter one. The taller one nudged him  
“Don’t you dare!”  
“Tamaki, Uber isn’t a person. You have to use a phone!”  
“Don’t say that so loud! Haruhi doesn’t have a phone! You might offend her! You don’t want to offend our precious daughter, do you Kyoya?!”

The two men stood, watching and laughing as the entire Ouran Host Club proceeded to stand on the pavement arguing, yes; even Mori! The shorter man cleared his throat, more loudly each time.  
“IF YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN TO THE KING OF FABULOUS!” He shouted. The entire street turned to look at him, just as the taller man said in too loud a voice to be subtle,  
“You might want to make that queen, babe.” They smirked at each other. Tamaki glanced round and everybody else seemed to understand what they’d. He then caught Hikaru’s gaze in confusion. It clearly clicked in the ginger’s mind, as he began sniggering. Tamaki remained confused.  
“We are going back home now, so if you wanted to get the bus with us, we can show you how it works.”

Haruhi wasn’t the only one sceptical when it came to taking the bus. Kaoru was terrified about the people on buses, having seen a particularly terrifying documentary in the past about the sanitary standards of the seats. It was Tamaki’s enthusiasm which convinced them all to take a ride. He was so excited about taking a ‘commoner bus’ that everyone decided to humour him.

The nine sat together, leaning over the aisle and leaning backward in their seats to have their conversations.  
“I’m Remus, by the way.” The taller man told them. “This is my fabulous boyfriend…”  
“Sirius Black, queen of sass and prettier than your girlfriend.” At this, Remus starting coughing with laughter. “What?” Asked Sirius, clearly confused. He waved his hand, as if to say ‘it’s nothing’. The dark haired man continued. “A star was even named after me once,” he said, wistfully.  
“WOW, Siri-Chan! You really are a superhero, right? That’s so cool!” Remus laughed even harder at this, as Sirius’ expression clearly gave away the fact that he hadn’t ever had that response before to this information.

“I’m Haruhi, and please forgive them if they refer to you as ‘commoners’, they actually think it’s a compliment, but they can be really rude without realizing it.”  
“Tamaki Suoh, at your service,” said the blond, kissing Remus’ hand, before getting a slap from both Sirius and Kyoya. He pouted and went to his emo corner (which in this case was only staring soullessly out the window) and was comforted by Haruhi, saying things like ‘I was only being polite, like in the host club!’  
“We’re the Hitachiin twins, Hikaru and Kaoru. You’ll never be able to tell us apart, so don’t even bother.” The twins chimed in together in perfect unison.  
“Kyoya Ootori. I’m the real brains behind the operation. Without me, the host club would go spiralling into debt. I’m merely one hell of an accountant. However, put one foot in the wrong place and my family’s private police force will track you down.”  
“I’m Mitskuni, but you can call me Honey! Oh, and this is my best friend Takashi. But everyone else calls him ‘Mori’! And this is my bunny Usa-Chan! It’s nice to meet you!” Mori nodded in agreement.

The conversation moved on, and eventually Tamaki gave up on sulking and joined in with everyone else.  
“So where are you all staying?”  
“Well, to be honest, we aren’t exactly decided yet. Some of us have private cottages here in England, whereas the likes of Haruhi do not, being a commoner and all.”  
“So, Kyoya-senpai, you mean to tell me you have no idea where we’re going to live?!”  
“Calm your boner, Haruhi!” Exclaimed Hikaru.  
“Yeah, you can just stay with us!” Chimed in Kaoru.  
“There is NO WAY I am letting my PRECIOUS DAUGHTER stay with you SHADY TWINS!”  
“We’re not shady, Tono!”  
“Take a good look at yourself before you say anything to us!” They all stopped short of their conversation slash argument to look at Sirius whispering something in Remus’ ear.  
“We can’t!”  
“Well in practice, strictly speaking we could. It wouldn’t be the first time…”  
“That was different, Sirius, we can’t now!”  
“How is that different?”  
“Well at least they knew the Weasleys. And they weren’t here of their own idiocy.”  
“Actually…”  
“Well Fred and George didn’t know they’d set the place on fire, did they? Besides, Harry and Ron are best friends.”  
“What about the Malfoys? Since you seem to know how everyone in the world showed up at this great ruddy house.” Remus rolled his eyes.  
“Well, if you think James and Lily would let these kids stay with us, go ahead. But I’m not going in guns blazing, I’m really not hopeful, Sirius.”  
“Well, you always say how I never cease to amaze you, so I’m sure this won’t be a one off.” He said with a wink. “If you don’t think there’re enough rooms, I can give mine up, I share with you now after all…”  
“Sirius! This place used to be a hotel! I’m sure there’re enough rooms!”  
“Well, it’ll still be fine. I really don’t think James will mind.”  
“It’s not James I’m worried about.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hosts™ and wolfstar ( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) arrive at the Potter Estate. This chapter is basically the Ouran students meeting and interacting with the HP characters and trying to sort out what they're going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I couldn't think of a punny name for the chapter this time! I do try even though they're never funny :|  
> But whatever.   
> I am SO SORRY I have taken so long to update, this was supposed to come out on June 8th (for my friend's birthday) but my dad installed a load of things for security reasons which blocked AO3 from all the computers on our wifi (I cri) so this is finally uploaded :')  
> Hope this is okay for you all  
> And MUCH LOVE to everyone who left kudos and who commented, I will get round to answering them all but I haven't been on for ages :')  
> If anyone has any ideas for future chapters let me know, I do have a basic storyline for the next few chapters, but will keep rambling forever probably sorry!  
> Updates SHOULD be faster now (keyword SHOULD in that sentence) as I am now on summer break but probably won't be because I procrastinate like fuck and am incredibly lazy.

The odd group got off the bus, which Remus and Sirius kept calling the ‘Knight Bus’, which confused everybody, particularly Tamaki, but it was apparently something their school called buses, so everyone left it at that.   
“Follow me,” Remus called out to the others following them. “The Potter Estate is just down a few roads from here.” He proceeded to lead everyone down a series of footpaths and roads.   
“It would’ve been faster to take another bus,” Hikaru concluded, after the first five minutes.   
“But more expensive,” Haruhi and Remus chipped in at the same time before looking at each other in surprise. Haruhi because nobody she knew was used to having any concept of money and Remus because he hadn’t expected any of these Japanese kids to have any idea as to how much anything had costed.   
“Kaoruuu?”   
“What do you want, Hikaru?”   
“Carry me!”  
“Hikaru, no.”   
“Please?”  
“You’re heavy!”  
“Are you calling me fat?”   
“We look the same, Hikaru. No, you’re not fat, and neither am I.”   
“Then carry me?”  
“No…” Mori then came up to them, and picked up both the twins, carrying them both, one on each shoulder. Then, before Honey could protest, he picked up the smaller boy and carried him in his arms. The twins looked at each other, and shrugged. It was better than walking, if a little high up.   
The finally made it to a long pathway leading to a truly enormous house. There was a sign by the gate that read   
Potter Hotel  
Potter Estate  
The Ouran students looked at each other as if to say ‘not so different to home’, apart from Haruhi, who merely went   
“Wow…” for some reason, the house had seemed to stir up memories for Tamaki, who fell to his knees bellowing   
“NO!”   
“Tama-Chan? Are you okay?”  
“Tamaki?” Questioned Kyoya when the blonde didn’t respond.   
“This house just reminded me of something.”   
“What?”   
“I LEFT ANTOINETTE AT THE SECOND MANSION! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HOLIDAY FOR HER TOO!”   
“When the crazy blond finishes his midlife crisis we can go in,” Sirius informed them all.   
“It’s not a midlife--” Remus was able to say before his boyfriend cut him off.   
“It is a midlife crisis from him at the rate he’s going.” There wasn’t much Remus could say to that. “Although it’s similar to the way James acted when Lily turned him down in like 3rd year.” Remus laughed.   
“More like Peter whenever he tried to get a girlfriend, poor sod.” They laughed. Tamaki stood up and tried to take Haruhi’s hand.   
“Shall we, my lady?” Haruhi pulled her hand away.   
“I go in fine for myself, thanks.”   
They made it inside, and were met by a man the same age, give or take, as Remus and Sirius. He bounded towards the two men and enveloped them both in a huge bear hug.   
“I’VE MISSED YOU BOTH SO MUCH!”   
“James, you saw us yesterday,” Remus told him.   
“But that was so long ago-” he whined, but cut himself off when he saw the seven new faces. “Who are these? Friends of Harry?”   
“Not quite, we kind of met them really confused by the off license, so we kind of offered them a place here!” Sirius explained.   
“Dunno if Lils will like that,” the man, who had now been confirmed as James admitted. “Hi, I’m James Potter. This is my…house?” he said, as if confused as to whether it was a house or not.   
“More like mansion,” Haruhi muttered. James laughed.   
“It is pretty big, huh. Lily’s a doctor, and nobody really knows what I do,” he laughed. “Not even me!”   
“James is a good bloke, he’ll find a way to get Lily to come round. You can stay here,” Sirius assured the Ouran students.   
After a bit of chatting around, James realized the Ouran students were just standing awkwardly. He invited them outside.   
“If you go out here, you can meet my kid, Harry, and his mates. I’ll go and find Lily so we can get you all rooms.”   
The Ouran hosts made their way after James, into the Potter’s garden. Like the rest of the estate, the garden was truly massive. There was a pond so large a bridge went over it, as well as several flower bushes. There were roses planted here and there, with bird feeders and several ping pong tables. There was an arch surrounding a cluster of picnic benches where some people were sat, playing some sort of game, and chatting.   
The Hosts™ walked over to where these people were sat, and coughed politely to gain their attention. One boy, who looked kind of like Kyoya, with the same dark hair and glasses stood up immediately. A blond boy stood up just after him.   
“Who are you, and how did you get into my garden?” The bespectacled boy demanded.   
“We’re waiting for Lily,” Honey told him, grinning.   
“What does mum want of you?”  
“Well, we might be staying here,” Tamaki said, wistfully.   
“What?!” demanded the blond boy stood behind the Kyoya-look-alike.   
“I know! Make the most of it while you can.” He continued, taking their responses in the total wrong way (as is usual for him).   
Haruhi sat on the bench next to a girl with frizzy brown hair and put her head on the table.   
“I am so sorry,” she told the girl. The girl laughed.   
“You’re with them? You actually seem to be acting fairly normally. Though I don’t know why you’re wearing uniform in the holidays.”   
“It was a normal school day back in Japan. Pity Tamaki decided we needed a holiday. I wonder how my dad will react when I don’t come home…”   
“We have more in common than I thought,” the girl told her. “I’m Hermione. Hermione Granger.”   
“Haruhi Fujioka. Oh, and by the way, I’m a girl, despite my appearance.”   
“…I know. I’m not stupid, you know.”   
“It took them about a week to figure it out, even with spending all their after school activities with Me.”   
“How come you spend your time with them?”   
“I broke an expensive vase and am indebted to them £56,193.81 in your money.”   
“Wow. Only Harry has that kind of money! Ron…” she gestured to a ginger boy sat across the table, engrossed in a game on his iPhone. “Well, let’s just say he doesn’t waste that kind of money.” Haruhi nodded, understanding.   
“I totally get that. These rich jerks call me a ‘commoner’.” Hermione laughed.   
“Harry, Ron, Draco. Meet my new friend Haruhi!”   
“You made a friend?” Asked the boy who Haruhi knew to be Ron, rudely.   
“It’s not unheard of,” Hermione argued back. Their fight was interrupted by Hikaru.   
“Haruhi, I thought we were your friends?!” Kaoru followed his older twin, walking up to where Haruhi was sitting.   
“Hikaru, we’ve been over this--”   
“OH GOD NOT MORE TWINS!” Ron had his hands over his eyes in annoyance.   
“What’s your problem?” Asked Hikaru and Kaoru, rudely.   
“I came outside here with Hermione to studyto get away from my older brothers who just so happen to be twins, and look very similar to you. This was NOT THE PLAN!” the twins forgot their argument with Haruhi, and stuck their tongues out at Ron, who merely groaned. Haruhi took initiative.   
“Hermione, meet my friends, Hikaru and Kaoru. They are the Hitachiin twins, but apparently I am the only one who has ever been able to tell them apart. I won’t give anything away though!” She warned. “Kyoya-senpai is the one writing in the black notebook, and Tamaki-senpai is the one sulking for no apparent reason by that hedge. The short one is Honey-senpai and the tall one Mori-senpai.” Tamaki stood up and walked over to them.   
“Together,” he began “we make up…”  
“THE OURAN HOSTS™!” They all chimed in.   
“Well, that makes us sound very boring. We were supposed to be studying for an exam after this half term, but Ron refused to do so without starting on a break, and that has been the case for…” she counted on her fingers “about two days now.” Haruhi just smiled at her new friend.   
Harry sensed the awkward atmosphere and his shoulders relaxed a little. At least his friends were acting normal. He turned to Tamaki and the others.   
“Sorry. My name is Harry Potter. The girl your friend is talking is my friend Hermione, and the boy opposite her is Ron. Oh, and this is my-” he coughed “this is Draco.”   
“Also known as a total wanker.” Ron called out across the table. The blond boy who had been revealed to be called Draco leaned over the table with ease, and said to Ron in a low, slightly angry tone,   
“I didn’t say anything about you, did I? So why should you say it about me? Bitch.” The two seemed to be busy getting into a rather full on fight, while Harry seemed to be wondering which side he should take, and Hermione just watched in horror. Kyoya’s lip curled. This could prove interesting. It seemed the shipping wouldn’t just stop with his own friends. Yes; it could certainly prove interesting. A figure caught his eye. He turned to see Remus walking over to them, followed by Sirius and a tall woman with red hair loose down her back.  
Tamaki had noticed too. When the trio approached, he knelt before her and kissed her hand.   
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lucy.” Their eyes met, hers with a puzzled expression.   
“Tama-Chan, her name is Lily not Lucy. Siri-Chan, Remi-Chan and Jamie-Chan all said so.” Tamaki emo-cornered in embarrassment. Lily coughed to ensure everyone was paying attention, before she began.   
“I understand that you are students from a fancy school somewhere in Japan and are being tourists for a year?”   
“That’s right,” Kyoya concluded.   
“What? A year? Dad doesn’t even know I left Japan! I can’t stay in London for a year!”   
“Haruhi, your dad knows, we saw Ranka as we were leaving your house.” Kaoru told her.   
“So he knows I’m going? Why didn’t you tell me?”   
“Didn’t seem important.” Hikaru shrugged.   
Lily coughed again. The attention was brought back onto her.   
“I don’t have any problem with you all staying here, particularly considering you all seem to have made friends already,” she looked at her own son, then back at the Ouran students again. “However, I have no problem with housing my friends and those particularly close to Harry, but I do not know you. Therefore, our estate shall be your hotel; you may stay as long as you need to, but you will need to pay for your rooms.”   
“I suppose you will be willing to cover the costs, King of the Host Club Tamaki?” Kyoya asked, bemused. The so-called ‘King’ stuttered.   
“But you have your own money! I can pay for my precious Haruhi but I don’t see why I should pay for the rest of you! You’re richer than I am!”   
“Then maybe we should take care of Haruhi, Tono,” Hikaru said slyly.   
“Just until you can make ends meet,” continued Kaoru.   
“DON’T TOUCH HER, YOU SHADY TWINS!” he bellowed in their general direction.   
“It’s fine, just send me your next plane and I can go back to Japan.” Kyoya tapped out a few things out on his calculator.   
“Actually, that would cost more than Tamaki paying for you to stay here,” he concluded.   
“How?” Haruhi rounded on him. Kyoya just smiled.   
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he couldn’t afford to let this opportunity go to waste; the shipping was far too golden!   
“I don’t see any reason why somebody like –what was your name? Haruhi? I don’t see why somebody with so little money should be forced into this situation just because of her economic status. We have enough to spare a little, Haruhi can share a room with Hermione or someone; so long as they don’t mind.” Haruhi breathed out in relief; she really didn’t want to have to get back on the plane after just arriving, and besides; it would be a good chance to make new friends. “What’s more, only one of the twins needs to pay; I don’t mean to be rude but nobody plans for twins and the convenience would be a lot. The only downside for you two is you will need to share a bed as well as a room. But if Fred and George manage then I’m certain you’ll be alright.” Hikaru and Kaoru both looked at each other silently asking if they’d be okay with this arrangement, before remembering in their haste that this was the norm back home anyway. So what if they were in a different location?   
Again, Kyoya wasn’t one to miss out on any action; he caught the exchange and smiled to himself; the change of scenery was stirring up new emotions, the twins in particular. The shipping had well and truly begun. Maybe even Haruhi would notice something and she and Tamaki could be together before they returned to Japan, although that may be stretching a little too far into the distant future. Still, it never hurt to dream.   
“My little girl and I can share a room!” Tamaki said, ecstatic, as though he had just come up with the solution to the world’s ever-growing problems.   
“Is he serious?” Lily enquired.   
“We think he was dropped on his head at birth,” Hikaru informed her. Tamaki heard this, and chased him round the garden while the other Hosts™ laughed.   
“KAORU! WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MAKING ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT IN FRONT OF MY LITTLE GIRL?!”   
“I’m Hikaru, Tono!”   
“YOU CAN BE WHICHEVER TWIN I SAY YOU ARE!” He shouted, indignantly.   
From the third floor in the Potter Estate, Fred and George were watching from an open window, curious as to who these guests were. They heard the exchange between Tamaki and Hikaru, and hatched a plan.   
Oblivious to the goings on in the Weasley twins’ minds, Tamaki ran around below the window, chasing Hikaru in a fit of rage. He stopped in complete and utter confusion when wet sponges starting appearing above his head and landing on him. The other Hosts™ watched with tears on their faces as their supposed ‘Host King’ was pelted with what was really only water. His reaction was priceless; convinced his mind was merely deceiving him, he walked away in mock tranquillity, with the air of a cat who just slid off the roof tiles and into the pond. [A/N this happened to my Mum’s cat when she was about 9, she watched.] When this didn’t work, he stamped his foot angrily and glared up at the window, only for one to land on his face.  
“…So I take it you’re okay with the whole situation?” Lily asked.   
“It’s a perfect arrangement, thank you, Mrs Potter.” Kyoya replied, switching on his flawless Host Club Charm™.   
“Please just call me Lily; everyone’s in such a state,” she told Kyoya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo!  
> Thank you so much for reading this far and for sticking with me for all this time since I took such a long accidental break!  
> I actually had so much fun writing these chapters so far!  
> For the next one the plan is to introduce the characters a bit more and strike up some sort of friendship between most of them, and hopefully the Drarry will take off ;)  
> Knowing me I will probably stray from the plot though haha oops


	5. When Tama calls...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi gets to know Hermione and Ginny better before Tamaki humiliates himself and everyone kind of has to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I know I'm a terrible person who shouldn't be allowed to live after having said I would update sooner bc it's summer and I have nothing in particular to do but here I am at least a month later having updated nothing (I have actually written quite a lot for this fic, I just haven't found a way to end any chapters so this seems forced and I'm sorry)  
> I really hope you can all forgive me I was planning to upload this before this fic had 200 hits and it already has over 280 so THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH YOU ARE ALL AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU

Haruhi awoke drenched in a cold sweat. Looking around her, she realised she had been wrong; it wasn’t just a dream! She really was sleeping on a sofa in a strange house with people from school and others she didn’t even knew. Worse, Tamaki had taken everyone to a country full of people they didn’t know – Haruhi had never even been abroad before! Worse still, Haruhi knew she wouldn’t even be back in Japan in time to take her finals. What was she going to do?! 

Then again, that Hermione girl seemed quite intelligent, at least on a similar level to Haruhi herself. Perhaps the girl wouldn’t mind if they were to study together. The girl in question turned over, eyes opening briefly before she uttered a low groan.  
“What time is it?” She asked Haruhi. The Japanese teen shrugged.  
“Light enough to figure out where the window is, at least.”  
“I forgot you hadn’t spent the night here before, there won’t be any street lights outside, just the light of the sun or moon.”  
“I live in what is practically half the size of this room in Japan, in an apartment block that is always lit up, whatever time it is.” Hermione smiled.  
“As of this summer, I’ve basically been living here. Harry, Ron and I met on the train to school on our first day and have been friends ever since.”  
“Well, I told you earlier my first impression on the guys.” Haruhi shuddered. Hermione grinned at her new friend. 

The two chattered into the early morning, when there was a knock on the door. They called the knocker to come in, and a ginger girl was revealed in the doorway.  
“Hi, Gin,” Hermione called out to the girl in the doorway, who yawned and waved sheepishly.  
“I can hear you through the wall,” she explained. “You’re keeping me awake, so I figured I should at least join you if you’re going to be so impolite as to keep me up all night. I have football practice tomorrow at three, and I don’t want to sleep through it when I get there! Harry will be there!”  
“No offence, but I don’t think he’s interested.”  
“He will be, when he sees how great I look in my new football kit!” She grinned at the slightly concerned-looking girls sat on the bed.  
“You got that impression of him too?” Haruhi asked Hermione.  
“Oh please, have you seen the way he looks at Draco? Poor Ginny won’t stand a chance!”  
“That’s what you think,” huffed the ginger girl.  
“I’ve known him since our first year at Hogwarts. We’re best friends, remember?”  
“You don’t have to rub it in that I was born in the wrong year, Hermione. Anyway, let’s talk about something else.” 

Sadly, the trio of girls were unable to continue any form of conversation for much longer, as the entire house was awoken (if they had not been so already) by an almighty scream of terror from the floor above where Haruhi and Hermione were sleeping.  
“That sounded like Tamaki-Senpai, I wonder what Hikaru and Kaoru did this time…”  
Haruhi’s suspicions had been correct; it had been Tamaki. He had woken that morning early, and had gone to the bathroom. Upon his entrance, as he always did any time there was the chance he might be able to glimpse his own reflection, he had admired his own face. However, on this occasion, he had noticed an alteration to his appearance. He peered in horror as he noticed the change that had been made to his left eyebrow – it was…different. Tamaki had never been a particularly intelligent boy, but even he knew that when half your left eyebrow mysteriously went missing in the night, well, let’s just say that even for him, it wasn’t a stereotypical nightly occurrence. 

Naturally, the teen had shrieked as loudly as he felt was suitable for the event, and, being something to do with his appearance, he had valued it as an emergency, and had shrieked at his optimum volume. 

As everyone began to arrive at Tamaki’s room, half asleep, confused and annoyed, Tamaki began to wonder if perhaps on this occasion shrieking hadn’t been the appropriate action, and that this could perhaps have waited until morning.  
“Well?” Demanded a tired, angry Draco Malfoy. “What is the meaning of this? Some of us are trying to get some beauty sleep.”  
“Some of us need it,” Ron bantered back.  
“What do you think?!” Tamaki wailed, ignoring Draco and Ron, infuriated that nobody else realised how apparently serious it was that half his left eyebrow was missing. “It’s obvious what happened, those red-headed devil twins performed some kind of magic spell to get rid of half my left eyebrow! I don’t know how they did it, but I know it was them, I know they did!”  
Everyone turned to stare at the twins they knew. Most were looking at Fred and George, but the others were staring at the Hitachiin brothers. So everyone was surprised when the four collapsed into fits of laughter. The four twins began high fiving each other, grinning.  
“It worked perfectly!”  
“Who would have known there would be people here in London on such a similar wavelength to us!”  
“I told you, Nair, it works every time!” Their bonding moment was interrupted by an angrily shaking Tamaki. He grabbed a twin, without caring to notice which one, and shook him.  
“You removed half my eyebrow, you evil devil twin! Put it back! Fix it right now, make it turn back right now!” He was hit rather hard by a chair over the head. The last words he heard were  
“Let go of my brother, you ARSE!”  
As Tamaki came round, he could hear a woman’s voice saying  
“George, dear, don’t you think you were a little hard on him?”  
“After what he was saying about twins yesterday, mum? No, not at all. Besides, he called Fred ‘evil’ and labelled him a twin. I mean, yeah, he is evil, but only I’m allowed to call him that. Besides, no twin wants to be thought of as ‘a twin, just half of a pair’ their whole life! Isn’t that right, Freddie?” The other twin nodded.  
“Still,” came a snobbish voice, “I don’t think you two should have treated a guest in this house like that,”  
“Oh, shut up, Percy! Nobody cares what you think about it, you weren’t even here!”  
“Yeah! I bet you only came when you heard the slam on the floor because you were too busy studying all this time, but wanted to join in on all the fun! Which, by the way, we made. As usual.” The twins folded their arms in unison and glared at their brother.  
“Regardless, boys, you shouldn’t remove half of someone’s eyebrow when they’re asleep, you could have got it in his eye!” Lily scolded  
“Yeah! You should wait until they’re awake and tie them up for it first! Much more fun that way.” Sirius continued, a knowing tone to his voice.  
“Sirius! No! You could seriously injure someone that way too!” Remus said, earnestly.  
“You’re right!” James added. Remus nodded, knowingly. James continued. “You should knock them out first, they’re much less likely to move around. You won’t blind them that way. You should think about the consequences before you act, boys.”  
“James!”  
“What, Lily?”  
“You can’t encourage them to do things like this!”  
“But it’s funny, Lils!”  
Tamaki sat up, tired of all this. 

“Well, it’s about time I ate something, I know I can’t sleep again after all this trauma to my beautiful face.” He turned to Lily. “Where are your chefs’ quarters, I wish to indulge myself in some poached eggs and smoked salmon this morning, and I wish to tell them exactly how I like to have them done.” Lily frowned at him.  
“Is this really how you were brought up?! How rich are you?! This isn’t a hotel, Tamaki, this is my house. I do the cooking.” She sighed and got up. “It’s 5am. Those of you who want to go back to bed, do. The rest of you, I can make breakfast now if you want to go down to the kitchen.” She stood up and left. Remus joined her. Sirius muttered something akin to women stealing your boyfriend at the breakfast table, and went downstairs. 

Haruhi sat next to Hermione as the sun started to peek its way into the kitchen from behind and between the curtains. Tamaki had sat at the head of the table after a fight with Harry over who deserved to sit there more. Harry had resigned himself to an ordinary seat after Draco had offered him a seat on his lap, suggesting it better that the head of the table, Harry, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to sit on his knee? Most of the people at the table made sick faces at this. Harry, obviously felt differently, but felt he should abide by what everyone else’s rules seemed to be. Sirius seemed to think nothing was wrong with Draco’s offer, so he called out into the kitchen.  
“Remus!”  
“What, Sirius, I’m kind of busy right now trying to make poached eggs!”  
“Babe, do you want to sit on my lap during breakfast?” the sound of breaking china came from the kitchen; Sirius had clearly caught his boyfriend off guard.  
“What? No!”  
“What?! Why not?!”  
“We won’t be able to reach our food that way, Sirius. Anyway, I-I’m busy making breakfast with Lily.” Sirius smirked at James.  
“He so wants me.”  
“Well yeah, you’ve been dating longer than I’ve been with Lily!” Sirius smirked.  
“That’s right, I am the master of seduction, James.”  
“Sirius, shut up!” Came Lily’s voice from the kitchen.  
“You tell him, babe,” James called back.  
“James, you too!” Both men sat and sulked.  
“Remus, you still love me, don’t you?” Silence. “REMUS!” The man all but wailed into the kitchen. Said man came out of the kitchen with a raw egg in his hand, and cracked it on Sirius’ head.  
“A symbol of my affection,” he uttered, quietly. “Now will you let me make breakfast? Please?” Sirius apparently had no words. He watched the man leave, before bragging at James.  
“I told you he still wanted me. See, I still got it Jamie, I still got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not happy with the way this turned out, I may edit these chapters so they will make more sense later on into the fic. Sorry if this confuses anyone!  
> I tried to bring more romance into this, but it kind of failed. Hopefully I will make up for it next chapter!  
> ALSO!!! I have been playing Zelda Breath of the Wild all summer and have fallen in love with the champions so I may make an AU of them bc I think that would be fun :) Let me know what you think in the comments!  
> Thank you all so much for reading this far, this is kind of my first ever fic and I am super awkward so thank you for all your support I love you <333


	6. Welcome to London, Hosts!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which after breakfast, most leave the Potter Estate and go into London. The four twins entertain themselves in a joke shop, Kaoru realising his thoughts of Hikaru were slightly more than platonic, and that run deeper than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in one day fuck yeah!!!  
> Okay, so I am trying to make up for lost time but you still love me, yeah?  
> Please love me, I'm amazing.  
> I have tried to bring in more romance here (even if it is one-sided for now) Hikaru is oblivious but that's okay, he'll come round :)  
> Hope you enjoy!

Breakfast began without an issue. Conversation went politely and swimmingly.  
“So you go to a school called Ouran?”  
“It’s not a school, it’s a private academy.” Tamaki retorted, sulkily.  
“It’s a school,” Haruhi whispered so everyone heard. Everyone laughed. Tamaki stood up.  
“Everyone hates me! Kyoya, tell everyone to stop hating me!”  
“Tamaki, sit down,” Kyoya said calmly. “And stop making such a fuss. Eat your eggs.”  
“They’re yucky.” Everyone ignored him, although Remus, who hadn’t ended up sitting on Sirius’ lap although the other man had been adamant about wanting that, looked rather down at that statement. He whispered something about never being good enough, which made Sirius grab his hand and squeeze it. He leaned over and whispered something into the other man’s ear, which made him flush and not say another word.  
“What school do you guys go to, anyway?” Asked Honey.  
“Yeah.” Mori added.  
“We go to a school called ‘Hogwarts’, but I think the founders were high when they started it, because who would call a school ‘Hogwarts’?!” Harry told them, laughing.  
“It does make you think of pigs,” Ron added.  
“And the house names are pretty messed up too,” Fred told them, leaning back in his chair.  
“I don’t think Ouran has houses,” Hikaru mused, thoughtfully.  
“At least, if they did,” Kaoru added, “we’ve never paid attention to them.”  
“I couldn’t even tell you which house we’re in!” The older twin laughed.  
“What makes you so sure you’re even in the same house together?” Kyoya asked, slyly.  
“Our dad is one of the govenors. We would know if anything was put in place to separate us,” Hikaru told him in a warning tone  
“And we’d make sure to put a stop to it!” Kaoru smiled.  
The room tuned in to Harry, who, along with Draco, Ron and Hermione, was telling Haruhi, Honey and Mori about Hogwarts.  
“At Hogwarts we have four houses, Gryffindor, the best house, Ravenclaw, where, seemingly, the clever ones all end up, Hufflepuff, the fluffy ones – no, seriously, they try to make friends with everyone. It can be cute sometimes, but kind of annoying too. Then there’s Slytherin.” Harry shuddered.  
“And what, may I ask, do you have against my house?” Asked Draco, incredulous.  
“Oh, nothing,” Ron told him. “Just against you.”  
“The houses,” Hermione told Haruhi, in a slightly louder tone in insinuate her rising frustration, “Were named after the four founders of Hogwarts, which were, like Harry suggested, most likely high. Their names were Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff and Salazar Slytherin.” At this news, Hikaru burst out into a fit of laughter.  
“It’s too much!” He managed to squeak out, after a moment of stunned silence from everyone else in the room. “All their names alliterate, it’s too funny!” He paused for breath, tears streaming down his face. Kaoru began to laugh also.  
“Hikaru,” he paused, laughing again. “Your name alliterates.” The boy stopped laughing for a second, before the colour drained from his face a little.  
“You’re right, Kaoru.” There was an awkward silence.  
“Well, we should probably go to the bank today to get you guys some English money,” Ginny remarked, breaking the silence.  
“And I need to have someone bring over Antoinette. She needs a holiday as much as I do!”  
“That might be a bit difficult, Tamaki, considering the price it cost you to come over to England in the first place.” Tamaki ignored Kyoya, and began to make a phone call.  
“Hello? Oh, hello, father, have you seen Antoinette?” He paused, listening. “Oh, that’s fantastic! Could you bring her to London for me?” He stopped again, this time having to hold the phone further away from his head, as the shouting came down it. “But father, I can’t just come home now! Father, I’ve only just got here! I’ve made friends!” Hikaru laughed; at least he now knew where Tamaki’s habit of shouting down the phone came from. Kaoru caught on to his train of thought, and he started to laugh too.  
Tamaki put his phone down on the table with an expression of despair. Haruhi felt sorry for the idiotic blonde, and was about to say something, when she opened her mouth and Honey’s voice came out.  
“Don’t feel bad, Tama-Chan! Have some cake, it always makes me feel better!” He smiled at the younger teen.  
About an hour later, they were all ready to get up, and Hermione offered to take Haruhi into London to get her money changed over. They had not anticipated that most people wanted to go into the city for one reason or another. Ginny wanted to join them before getting some more football gear her match later on that day, despite Hermione’s confused remarks about how she already had new football gear. Ron, who had wanted to stay home and play on his phone, eventually said he’d go with his sister to get football gear; he needed some too and someone had to help her carry the bags of kit she’d inevitably buy.  
Hikaru and Kaoru insisted on coming along, mostly because Fred and George offered to take them to some good jokes shops, but they didn’t tell the others this piece of information.  
Kyoya wanted to go also, anything to do with money was always his business, so nobody from Ouran was particularly surprised. Tamaki went with him as he didn’t want to be left out. He secretly wanted to phone Kyoya’s sister to see if he could get her to send Antoinette over. (Kyoya knew, and was planning on stopping him, which was the only reason he allowed Tamaki to come with him.)  
Honey wanted to go to stock up on his cake supply that had halved in the less-than-24-hour period they had spent in the UK already. Mori only went to join him, which was expected by most, as almost everyone had noted his undying loyalty to the older teen.  
Harry and Draco decided it would be a good idea to join the trip so they could already be in London for when they were going out for lunch later. Draco was perfectly happy to inform everyone that his parents were paying for his and Harry’s lunch out, in some fancy restaurant, with just the four of them. He only shut up when Harry said he’d be just as happy with a KFC.  
Percy was going so he could get some new books, Remus was debating whether or not to join him – he wanted new books too, but didn’t particularly wish to be alone in a book store with the boy who was all too excited about talking about mind-numbingly dull things, like what kind of dishwasher he thought was suitable for the Potters considering the size of their estate and the number of people living in it. Sirius was going so Remus had an excuse to leave Percy if and when he wanted to.  
Then there was Peter and his girlfriend, Natalia. He hadn’t wanted to go out, but Natalia had wanted some more make up. Though she had said he didn’t have to come, she had the look in her eyes that clearly meant ‘if you don’t come shopping with me, I will make all hell break loose when I return’.  
Lily and James decided to stay home; it was Lily’s week off, and she didn’t want to spend excessive time out of her home. James couldn’t be bothered to go out, saying he was keeping everyone (namely Lily) company while she stayed home. Nobody wanted to know what that meant, so nobody asked him any further questions.  
Both Molly and Arthur Weasley decided to give going out a break, Molly so that she could get some knitting done, and Arthur in favour of reading the Argos catalogue.  
Fred tried to steal his dad’s truck to take so they wouldn’t have to wait for the bus, and Remus and Sirius were arguing as to whether or not to let him drive. Unnoticed by them, the four twins piled into the truck and were setting off down the driveway. Ron and Hermione stood in their way, knowing they wouldn’t be run over, but for separate reasons. As the vehicle slowed, Hermione demanded to know what exactly they thought they were doing, it wasn’t their truck! Ron just asked to join them. This resulted in Ron, Ginny, Haruhi and Hermione all in the truck as well. Hermione wasn’t happy, but no one bothered to do anything about it.  
Harry, Draco and Draco’s parents went out in a fancy car that apparently belonged to Draco (that’s what he wanted everyone to think, anyway) and straight to some fancy restaurant in the centre of the city.  
Kyoya was still fascinated by what he called ‘commoner transport’ and told Tamaki they were going on either a bus or a train, and that there was nothing he could do about it.  
Hermione took Haruhi to the bank, where they met with Kyoya and Tamaki while changing over some money. Kyoya made a note of the fact that Haruhi had even brought some money with her. Sadly for her, he was not informed of the fact that she had only enough to buy food for the week. He didn’t know this, so he decided to heighten her debt, even just a little bit.  
Tamaki tried to sneak off to phone Kyoya’s sister to send over Antoinette, but couldn’t work the phone box. He instead tried to write a letter, but became confused as to how to send it, and this resulted in his posting it in a dog waste bin.  
Hikaru and Kaoru were star-struck in the doorway to the joke store. Fred and George were laughing at their stunned expressions. Hikaru was the first to grin widely, and look round. He grabbed Kaoru’s wrist and brought him over to some shelves. Fred noted to himself their comfort with each other – how close the other twins were. Hikaru had, on second nature, grabbed Kaoru’s arm without even seeming to think about it.  
Kaoru had felt a strange jolt at the touch of skin on skin as his brother’s hand grabbed his arm. He held back a shudder; he knew Hikaru would wonder what happened to him. He smiled to himself. His brother cared so much about him. Hikaru was sweet. He felt his face heating up and tried to mentally shake it off and be interested in what George was telling them, but right now, he couldn’t be less interested in pranking someone. I mean, this wasn’t normal. There really could have been a better time and place to discover one is crushing on someone they can never have. Why did it have to be Hikaru? Shit. He had no idea what he was going to do.  
He wondered if Hikaru could feel it too – his brother was never as good at concealing his emotions, so maybe he should try – he squeezed Hikaru’s hand to see if he would react. Nothing. Just a simple squeeze in return. Not even an intake of breath – nothing. Was his brother really that dense? Kaoru sighed. Hikaru let go of his hand and dashed over to something George was showing him. Kaoru felt his shoulders slump. Fred gave him a knowing look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you might be convinced to not hate me now! I will try to make the next chapter soon so you won't be waiting as long bc I hate people that do that too. Yes, including me. I will try to update more regularly, but as you have seen, I have unreliable anxiety, so I am making no promises. Now to try and find a fun(-ish) name for this chapter.  
> In other news, I have just had my hair cropped short and I absolutely love it!  
> \- Luna <3


	7. How to Annoy Ouran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's day in London  
> I had a bit of writer's block with this chapter tbh which is why it's so short  
> I hope you can all forgive me!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Thank you all so much for staying so long with this fic!  
> I have another fic on the go at the moment, so I will try and update each one in alternate weeks!  
> I hope you like this chapter, I know it's short (I'm sorry) but at least I'm updating, right? (please love me)

The four left the shop with a couple of bags of pranks. They decided to go out for lunch. Sat in a Pret a Manger, they saw Haruhi and Hermione walking towards them. They waved, calling the girls over.   
“If you think we’re sitting with you, you’re very much mistaken,” they said in unison, before laughing at each other. Hikaru stuck out his tongue as Kaoru laughed. Fred shrugged, telling them if they wanted a table at all they may as well join them, as there was still a queue for one by the door.

Haruhi shrugged, and sat down beside George. Hermione sat opposite, frustrated. She took out her phone, before laughing at something. She showed it round the table – Ron had sent her a photo of him sat in the sports shop ‘dad chair’, bored, while Ginny was fussing over a football kit. They took a photo and sent it back of the six of them in the café. It was then that another photo came through, this time of Harry and Draco with a couple of older people Haruhi assumed to be Draco’s parents, as both had the same shade of blond hair he did. Harry and Draco looked slightly embarrassed as both Draco’s parents pulled stupid faces at them.   
“Well aren’t you popular,” Hikaru mused, at the same moment Kaoru received a photo from Kyoya. “For real?” He groaned, his face slipping into his hands.   
“It seems it’s everyone but you,” George quipped. Hikaru lifted one middle finger at him, saying no words.

Kaoru let out a loud cackle; Kyoya and Tamaki were in a long line for something – he couldn’t figure out quite what, but Kyoya looked bored out of his mind, and Tamaki was getting over excited at some chewing gum. The text was captioned ‘look Kyoya, we don’t have this brand back in Japan! – Tamaki’ Haruhi sighed.   
“I’ve taken them all to a supermarket in Japan before, it shouldn’t be that different. It’s not like chewing gum is the most fascinating thing in the world.” Hermione laughed.   
“Rich people just don’t have the same childhood, do they? Harry was surprised when I told him it wasn’t normal to live in an estate. He was surprised that I was born living in a flat, and told me he felt sorry for me. He even went as far as to buy me and Ron dinner that weekend.” She laughed. “He’s been a lot better since then, though, that might have something to do with why we always spend our summers with the Potters, actually.”

Soon food was upon them once more, and the six ceased their conversation in favour of their sandwiches.

Kyoya was experiencing what he felt he could only describe as ‘hell’ with Tamaki. The blond who still only had one eyebrow, (he had tried to draw one on earlier but didn’t know how, so he had used a sharpie and when it went wrong he panicked, so it was covered now in concealer) had decided it would be a good idea to talk to everyone in the supermarket, so he would get absolutely nothing done. He had a ‘wonderful’ time trying to convince the idiot not to discuss the different flavours of yogurt with everyone in the store, but the blond seemed to have other ideas.   
“So what’s this one?”  
“That’s another apricot flavoured one. See how it looks a bit like a bum? That’s how you can tell its apricot,” a girl as telling him, realising what she had been getting herself in to.   
“Oh my, princess. You’re so educated. Do, please tell me more,” Tamaki got down on one knee.   
“Look, dude, I’m just telling you about the different flavours of yogurt, you don’t have to, like, worship me or anything.”   
“Oh contraire,” Tamaki argued. “Every princess deserves to be treated like the utmost royalty. Now take my hand, princess, and I will make you my yogurt queen!” The girl walked away, and Tamaki had to be talked out of going into his emo corner in the cheese section. (‘Sir, please step out of the fridge’)

When at last they made it to the checkout, Tamaki had discovered the chewing gum, and Kyoya sent a message to Kaoru, as an almost cry for help. The only response he received was ‘lmao’. Kyoya was not amused.

The two were able to buy their yogurt (and a few other things Kyoya has asked me to censor in this fic because he does not deem them appropriate to share with the general public the everyday ins and outs of his shopping list), and eventually left the store. Kyoya insisted the get on the bus back home, but of course, Tamaki found himself distracted by a male model advertising haircuts on a barber shop window. The model happened to have blonde hair cut into a similar style to his own, and of course, the blond was enthralled.

“Kyoya!”   
“Tamaki, you’re making a scene. Come on, or we’ll miss the bus!”   
“But Kyoya! I’m famous!”   
“Tamaki, the two of you don’t even have the same eye colour! How is that picture anything like you?!”  
“Look at me, Kyoya. Am I not the most beautiful person who ever lived? Well?”   
“Tamaki, please. People are starting to stare at you. Back at this host club, this would be considered acceptable, but not in the middle of London. Please stop, and move along already!” Tamaki sighed, dejected.   
“Oh, Kyoya. I understand it must be hard for you, after all, it must be difficult for someone like you to come to terms with my fame, my beauty and…well, the whole package that is me, really, but you must console yourself. People all around the world, why, they love me! Why else would my picture be all the way over here, in England? Such beauty must be enjoyed by all the world, or there would be no reason for someone to have my very picture up on this window!” Kyoya grabbed Tamaki’s wrist, and began to wrench him away, muttering under his breath the entire time.

While this was going on, Honey and Mori were having a wonderful time choosing which cakes they wanted to bring back to the Potter Estate. They were totally oblivious to the problems everyone else seemed to be experiencing, even though the girl Tamaki tried to make his ‘yogurt queen’ stalked over to a security guard behind them to report him. Eventually, Honey decided on three of everything – one of each to share with everyone at dinner, one of each for him and Mori to share after dinner, and one of each in case he got hungry. With a smile, he decided that would have to do for now. They got some…interesting looks from people as they bought them, but either they didn’t notice, or chose not to say anything, because they acted like they didn’t care at all.

Remus and Percy were enjoying the book browsing immensely, they had been getting on well after Percy asked Remus if he had seen a particular book that had been one of the older man’s favourites when he had been growing up. They were soon connecting rapidly over their old favourites, talking about the different experiences reading could bring you. This, however, left Sirius on the ‘husband chair’ in the corner, bored and frankly, irritated at being dragged along anyway. Remus and Percy had never got on so well before, he was supposed to be here to _rescue_ Remus from the boy! But no, they had to be getting on perfectly. So much for his swooping in to save the day.

While Sirius was brooding, he never noticed Remus and Percy finish up their conversation, or Percy leaving the store. In fact, he never noticed the two moving at all, until Remus was sat on his lap. This, of course, brought a rather wide grin to the shaggy-haired man’s face.

Draco and Harry had been looking forward to their date for a while, but Draco wasn’t really very thrilled with the idea of his parents who were now sitting with them, asking Harry for every single detail about his life. Sure, Draco didn’t mind their showing an interest in his boyfriend, and thought it only natural for them to want to get to know some things about him as he was dating their son, after all! But Draco was just pissed at their apparent inquisition of the boy. The questions never seemed to stop! How old are you, how long have you two known each other, how did you meet, are you sure he’s the one, how many years have you been going to Hogwarts, what _does_ your father do for a living?

Harry seemed a little overwhelmed. It was then that Draco’s mother rescued them.   
“Lucius, I think we may have asked him a few too many questions. Don’t you think we can just stop now and finish dinner?” Draco looked at her, grateful.   
“Very well,” his father agreed. Harry breathed out, quietly enough for only Draco to hear. “But just remember this, boy.” He leaned over the table to Harry. It wasn’t meant to come across as aggressive, it was just his nature. “If you harm as much as one single fucking hair on his head, I will know. I hear about very many of the details of Draco’s life, and I know exactly how he feels about you, believe me. so if I find out you did anything to him, you will not only have him as a very powerful enemy, but you will have Narcissa, myself, and the entire Malfoy household to deal with. Are we clear, boy?” Harry gulped a little.   
“Yes, sir.” He answered.

The atmosphere lightened considerably after that, Lucius telling them the story of how he had done some impressive thing or another, trying to impress everyone from other tables who were listening in on their conversation. Harry wasn’t really paying much attention, his hand had found Draco’s under the table, and he was happy. They sent a selfie to Hermione, getting one in return of her, Haruhi and the four twins.

Ron was almost falling asleep while his sister was trying on football kit. She came out of the changing room, and snapped her fingers angrily under his nose. Ron jumped.   
“M’ awake!” he shouted, making some of the other customers snigger as he flushed.   
“Of course you are, Ronald.” Ginny muttered dryly. “How do I look in this one?” She asked him.   
“Exactly the same as you did in the other ones,” he retorted.   
“Ronald! I’m serious!”   
“So am I!” one of the customers leaned over to tell Ron she’d never stay with him if he treated her like that, to which he remarked, incredulous, “I don’t want her to stay with me! She’s my sister! I thought that much would be obvious considering we have almost the same face!” Ginny slapped him at this remark.   
“How can we have the same face when I have dated almost all the boys in your year, and you’ve only ever had one girlfriend, may I ask?” Ron gave her the finger, and stood up.   
“If you’re gonna be boring and just try on football kit all day, I’m going back to Harry’s.” Ginny’s death glare made him shudder. “Or I can stay a bit longer.” He sat back down again, as Ginny disappeared back into the changing room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry it was so short but I hope you enjoyed!  
> I will try and update once ever two weeks bc I have a Zelda fic on the go at the moment as well so if you want you can give that a look!  
> I have a bit of writer's block with this fic at the moment, but hopefully the more I write it the more that will go!  
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated but honestly I'm just happy someone is actually reading the crap I produce so yay you!  
> Thank you for staying with me, I love each and every one of you <3  
> Thanks again!   
> \- Luna <3


End file.
